He wasn't quite watching--after all, he would have had to show his face--so it came as a surprise when she leaned in. He froze, his whole body tense, as Winter's slender arms curled around him and pulled him gently close. She was all warm and all cool at once: an odd sensation that made his whole body aware of her as if it too was trying to understand exactly what was happening.
Slowly, slowly Gareth relaxed. His own hands came up and awkwardly mimicked her movement, embracing Winter in turn. When was the last time he'd been hugged? He couldn't honestly remember. It felt very strange to him, so strange his heart wouldn't stop accelerating. He thought it might beat so quick and so strongly a hole might tear in it, and indeed his chest felt as tight as it ever had. It made his head swim.
He sniffed and did his best to keep the tears from spilling from his eyes. He so rarely had control over them once he began to cry, it was no surprise he did everything he could to keep them from ever starting. And he was usually--almost always, really--successful. So why was it so hard around Winter?
"Our stories," he finally said, tensing his arms slightly to hug her a little stronger. "I know lots of stories but I know they'll love the ones you're involved in the best. And we've got more and more each day."
"Our stories." She agreed with ease, if those were the ones he chose to tell she knew it would be just as good as the ones he dreamed up. She was fond of them, there was something comforting in listening to the way his voice carried on, painting pictures as his magic coiled in the air, creating the images as he spoke. She was sure her mother would be endeared to it at the least, and her younger brother too. Many of the youth in the clutch loved stories as it was, the idea of adding to them-- they'd probably never get enough.
"I think that is a wonderful idea." She hummed out, her arms following suit, giving him a bit of a squeeze before she allowed him to ease in or out of things at his own pace. She wouldn't force him to be in the hug with her, but she wasn't letting go of him either until she felt it was doing some kind of good. She hated to see the weight each of them seemed to carry, his more than most. And she was going to do what she could to make it a little lighter each day.
Her voice softened, barely a whisper as the two stood in the cold hallway. "I see such good in you, I promise. I hope sometime you see it as clearly as I do."
"Our stories," he echoed softly, affirming it. He didn't move, or perhaps he didn't know how to: embracing Winter seemed to have become his default state, the environment he was most comfortable in. Perhaps he'd forgotten what it was like to be elsewhere. Oddly, the squeeze she gave him felt like it put more air in him, not less; but then again, he was no expert on hugs. He wasn't even an expert on meaningful glances.
He didn't know how to face her words head-on. Sometimes Winter's wonderful naivete was worth a fond laugh, but sometimes it was more like a river broken through a dam: forceful, unrelenting, more than ready to wear away any opposition it faced. Right now he felt like he might be swept away if he heard it all at once, so instead he worked around the edges.
"You really are the kindest person I've ever met," he whispered as he held her in that ruined Dwarven rest. "I wonder that I ever found you--that you ever found us," he corrected. "I don't think I did anything to deserve it."
She huffed at him, something cool but firm enough to even ruffle a few of his hairs. "And what brought Zelly to me, but you." She reminded him, firmly, but warmly. Nodding a little as she let her breathing slow, allowing her heart to slow as his picked up. Forcing her body to relax, demanding it of herself just when she felt every breath grow warmer just from him being in such close proximity.
"Were it not for you helping her, I would have never met either of you." She smiled a little, and he might have felt it from where her mouth barely brushed the front of his tunic when she leaned in. "So it is your kindness we have to thank, Gareth." She reminded him, so sure of herself. "It was you, in all of this, that brought all of us together. Else such a job would have never existed, and none of us would have been drawn into fate as we have been.
"You saved her, and in that, perhaps all of us." A little nod. They had all been lost, looking for something, and now even though things were hard, each had found a purpose, or a goal, and that was worth so much to a man. So much more than gold or status. A reason to be, something to strive for, it was something every person needed.
He laughed slightly, a slight hiccup in it, and nodded. "I half believe you'd have found her without me," he admitted. The two of them were so close now, it wouldn't have surprised him if both contained some sort of magnet that attracted them both from far and wide.
Her breath warmed his chest--or was that his heart? It was still racing despite the moments that had passed with the two of them stuck together. And she was still talking. Still complimenting him. Still confronting him with a barrage of compliments, warm words, flattery he couldn't quite believe he deserved. Now the rushing river was assaulting him from all directions, unable to escape while he remained in her arms. So as warm as he felt, as soft as she was, as warm and yet cool--
Gareth stepped back and gently freed himself from her embrace. It felt like the hardest decision he'd ever made, but at the same time he knew he would simply fall to pieces if he had to face her words just then.
"Very kind," he said again, a phrase that had almost become a deflection. "But we haven't saved Zelia just yet. Once we find Dromak or whoever made her a Vampire, and we reverse the process--then we can say we've won."
Winter nodded, once, twice, and then paused. She felt far less warm without him resting against her but that wasn't to say it was the worst thing. She missed it, but understood. Many humans, she realized, were not so used to the open affection that she had grown up with. Instead, she politely folded her hands at her sides to allow him the space he may not have asked for, but probably needed.
"You are right, in many ways." After a second she allowed herself to lean a little more weight on one hip, pursing her lips. It was a topic she had wanted to bridge with him for some time, but she had never quite found a way to do it. Perhaps now was the best time, it would allow him some freedom from her other words.
He stood resolute and firm--and then she threw him for a loop. He opened his mouth and then closed it, his brain working to come to grips with the idea she'd presented him. What if she... didn't?
"I guess..." he finally started, still processing the question as he spoke. "I guess if Zelia--Zelly, I mean, if she doesn't want to change back..." he shook his head, still trying to think. "I guess I'd just assumed that she would, but now that you mention it... I'm not so sure. I mean, if it can even be done, which isn't necessarily a clear thing." he frowned and reached up to stroke his nonexistent beard, his eyes tracing over Winter as she leaned. He felt that he was more aware of her now than he'd been ten minutes ago, and he'd been very aware of her then. It was an odd feeling.
"I'm not sure," he admitted. "I don't want to force her, but if it's really the right thing to do... I'd hate to let her make a choice she'd end up regretting. But maybe we won't have to make that choice one way or another." He hesitated. "Do you think she might choose to stay a vampire?"
"If it could be done..." she trailed off, he was right. They had no idea if it was possible, but if it was she felt they needed to be prepared for all the possibilities. She knew they needed to talk now, which was better than waiting till Zelly was there and having an arguing it over in front of her. She had gotten hints that Zelly may not want to turn back, little notes here or there. She wasn't sure if it was because she really wanted to be a vampire or if it was because the girl found it was the only thing keeping her so special. It wasn't, obviously. But she was sure the girl didn't feel so confident in herself all things considered. Not with how her family had been and all the other talks they have had.
Maybe she would change her mind, but the truth of it was, it's possible she wouldn't. They needed to be ready for that.
"I think, sometimes." She nods gently, hoping telling Gareth this wouldn't make things more difficult for any of them. "I think we need to be ready for that being a possibility."
"If," he said, although he clearly hated saying it. If only it was certain. If only it was easier. If only Zelly's decision was foreseeable. If only... If only she'd never been put through all this.
Gareth leaned back against the wall, although perhaps it would have been more accurate to say he fell against it. There was a small sound when his head hit the coarse stone and he let out a small sigh. There was a long moment where he didn't say a single word: he just didn't know what to say. It seemed... "It seems like the problem just gets more and more complicated the longer we look at it," he said, and there was a tone of hopelessness in his voice. "Maybe I wouldn't care so much if it was a problem only I was struggling with, but... Zelia deserves better than all this." He gestured at nothing in particular.
"In a way, I wish she hadn't come with," Gareth admitted. "At least at home, she'd be safe. But I know she doesn't want that."
"I don't trust she would be safe at home, perhaps safer than this, but I don't know about safe." She didn't trust the General, nor did she really trust the King or Queen, one too rough and demanding, the other so helpless it made her stomach turn. If something were to happen to Zelly, she had doubts that the woman would intercede if the King did not wish ti so, and thus she would not trust either of them. She doesn't go into it much, but there's a clear flavor of distrust on her lips.
"I understand what you mean, though." She adds after a moment, this was not a safe place for Zelly, not a healthy place to be. All of them were in danger and it was the ugly, unflinching kind of danger. "But, I think this may be some of what she wanted." After a pause she deflates a little, shoulders slumping. "Adventure, a life outside of the castle. She is safer with you here, and while it is dangerous, at least we are with her rather than her going out on her own."
At least, that's how Winter had reasoned it with herself thus far.
"Maybe not," he admitted glumly. "It seems like there's nowhere that's perfect for her. Or even relatively safe for her." He held up his hands helplessly. "Or maybe we just haven't found it yet," he suggested. But he didn't sound so sure.
He listened, and he nodded, and he leaned back a little more heavily against the wall. "You're right," he sighed, and smiled forlornly at the pretty blue Tiefling. "As usual. If it wasn't with us, I'm sure she'd have found some way to get out and into trouble otherwise. And at least we care about her--we'll do our best to protect her. The others as well." It was touching to him how the party had adopted Zelly to be their metaphorical child. Even the rougher members of the party had come to cherish her.
Would Gareth have let her anywhere near two Orcs only a year ago? Not very likely.
"I just hope she doesn't get hurt," he said at last. "I'm not sure I could forgive myself."
"I don't think any of us could." A soft little nod as she allowed herself to turn, sliding backward so she could lean against the wall beside him. "Everyone here would die to keep her safe-- except maybe Viktor, and that's more than she's going to get anywhere else." As far as Winter was concerned, especially after Zelly's mother could barely be bothered to step out of line for her daughter. Something that Winter simply couldn't understand.
"I guess that means we all have to do our best." She murmured gently, her gaze sliding down a little as she thought things through. "Though, I'm sure we already are." A little puff of a laugh at herself. "I don't really know what else to say, Gareth." She turned a gentle smile on him. "I just hope at the end we're all where we want to be."
He turned his head towards her as if he was startled when she leaned back beside him, even though it was hardly a major shift. But it was closer than she'd been before, and it was something he noticed. Perhaps he was becoming oversensitive. Meeting Winter had made him very different indeed.
"It is," he agreed. "And I certainly would." He didn't have to wonder if Winter would lay down her life for Zelly: he knew it already and would have known it even if Winter had never even mentioned it. In fact, their most recent--and first--argument had been about that very fact, in a way. Gareth still wasn't happy about it but he had decided to hope it would never become relevant.
"I hope that too," he said softly. "Maybe that's all that really needs to be said." He hesitantly, gently set a hand on her shoulder, turning his head so he could look her in her eye. "And... I'm glad you're here, Winter. Wherever we end up, I hope I'll end up near you." What else could he say, when she smiled at him like that?
"If you want to, you will." And that's all she had to say on that, for the moment. It was hopelessly optimistic, at the very least, but Winter liked to imagine they would all make it out of there with the world open to them. Had to believe it because otherwise she wouldn't be able to keep pushing forward. She needed that optimism to keep her moving. And it had worked so far. Only on the coldest, darkest nights did she allow herself to worry otherwise. The truth was her heart couldn't take that kind of thought for very long. So she would cross her fingers and her heart that they would all end up where they wanted in the end.
"But," she paused, letting the moment hang briefly before she nodded firmly. "I hope the same, I really do."
Gareth smiled faintly, mostly because it was what seemed to be right. He felt a little sad, a little empty, but it didn't last too long. As soon as she said those words, I hope the same, he grinned just about as broad as he could. What did he have to be disappointed about? And if anything had been sinking his heart like a lead weight, well, it was gone now. "Good," he said, and it was just about all he could muster. Again his eyes were getting misty.
After a moment, and one last squeeze, he took the hand away from Winter's shoulder. Inside his clasped hand he could still feel the cool of her skin, the smoothness of her icy scales.
"I suppose we'd better get some rest before we have to move on," he said reluctantly. "Shall we head back?" He didn't want to--but he knew they had to. Whatever was coming next, it was big.
"You're probably right." She found that without proper sleep she wasn't able to get as much done as she wanted to. Always felt overly tired and like her magic wasn't quite doing what she wanted it to do. That wasn't the worst of all things-- but she always wanted to do her best, to be on her best for the people she wanted to help.
A softer, thoughtful smile focused on him before she allowed herself to give him a light thump on the chest. "Perhaps the Orcs will be sleeping deeply enough by now that their snores will not wake the dead, and all of us." A small titter of a laugh before she took the lead, her steps intentionally light, quietly leading the pair of them back toward the sleeping area. She didn't want to wake anyone, Zelly least of all. IT had been a long day and they all deserved their rest.
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Slowly, slowly Gareth relaxed. His own hands came up and awkwardly mimicked her movement, embracing Winter in turn. When was the last time he'd been hugged? He couldn't honestly remember. It felt very strange to him, so strange his heart wouldn't stop accelerating. He thought it might beat so quick and so strongly a hole might tear in it, and indeed his chest felt as tight as it ever had. It made his head swim.
He sniffed and did his best to keep the tears from spilling from his eyes. He so rarely had control over them once he began to cry, it was no surprise he did everything he could to keep them from ever starting. And he was usually--almost always, really--successful.
So why was it so hard around Winter?
"Our stories," he finally said, tensing his arms slightly to hug her a little stronger. "I know lots of stories but I know they'll love the ones you're involved in the best. And we've got more and more each day."
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"I think that is a wonderful idea." She hummed out, her arms following suit, giving him a bit of a squeeze before she allowed him to ease in or out of things at his own pace. She wouldn't force him to be in the hug with her, but she wasn't letting go of him either until she felt it was doing some kind of good. She hated to see the weight each of them seemed to carry, his more than most. And she was going to do what she could to make it a little lighter each day.
Her voice softened, barely a whisper as the two stood in the cold hallway. "I see such good in you, I promise. I hope sometime you see it as clearly as I do."
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He didn't know how to face her words head-on. Sometimes Winter's wonderful naivete was worth a fond laugh, but sometimes it was more like a river broken through a dam: forceful, unrelenting, more than ready to wear away any opposition it faced. Right now he felt like he might be swept away if he heard it all at once, so instead he worked around the edges.
"You really are the kindest person I've ever met," he whispered as he held her in that ruined Dwarven rest. "I wonder that I ever found you--that you ever found us," he corrected. "I don't think I did anything to deserve it."
"Zelly must have."
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"Were it not for you helping her, I would have never met either of you." She smiled a little, and he might have felt it from where her mouth barely brushed the front of his tunic when she leaned in. "So it is your kindness we have to thank, Gareth." She reminded him, so sure of herself. "It was you, in all of this, that brought all of us together. Else such a job would have never existed, and none of us would have been drawn into fate as we have been.
"You saved her, and in that, perhaps all of us." A little nod. They had all been lost, looking for something, and now even though things were hard, each had found a purpose, or a goal, and that was worth so much to a man. So much more than gold or status. A reason to be, something to strive for, it was something every person needed.
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Her breath warmed his chest--or was that his heart? It was still racing despite the moments that had passed with the two of them stuck together. And she was still talking. Still complimenting him. Still confronting him with a barrage of compliments, warm words, flattery he couldn't quite believe he deserved. Now the rushing river was assaulting him from all directions, unable to escape while he remained in her arms. So as warm as he felt, as soft as she was, as warm and yet cool--
Gareth stepped back and gently freed himself from her embrace. It felt like the hardest decision he'd ever made, but at the same time he knew he would simply fall to pieces if he had to face her words just then.
"Very kind," he said again, a phrase that had almost become a deflection. "But we haven't saved Zelia just yet. Once we find Dromak or whoever made her a Vampire, and we reverse the process--then we can say we've won."
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"You are right, in many ways." After a second she allowed herself to lean a little more weight on one hip, pursing her lips. It was a topic she had wanted to bridge with him for some time, but she had never quite found a way to do it. Perhaps now was the best time, it would allow him some freedom from her other words.
"What if Zelly does not wish to turn back?"
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"I guess..." he finally started, still processing the question as he spoke. "I guess if Zelia--Zelly, I mean, if she doesn't want to change back..." he shook his head, still trying to think. "I guess I'd just assumed that she would, but now that you mention it... I'm not so sure. I mean, if it can even be done, which isn't necessarily a clear thing." he frowned and reached up to stroke his nonexistent beard, his eyes tracing over Winter as she leaned. He felt that he was more aware of her now than he'd been ten minutes ago, and he'd been very aware of her then. It was an odd feeling.
"I'm not sure," he admitted. "I don't want to force her, but if it's really the right thing to do... I'd hate to let her make a choice she'd end up regretting. But maybe we won't have to make that choice one way or another." He hesitated. "Do you think she might choose to stay a vampire?"
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Maybe she would change her mind, but the truth of it was, it's possible she wouldn't. They needed to be ready for that.
"I think, sometimes." She nods gently, hoping telling Gareth this wouldn't make things more difficult for any of them. "I think we need to be ready for that being a possibility."
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If only she'd never been put through all this.
Gareth leaned back against the wall, although perhaps it would have been more accurate to say he fell against it. There was a small sound when his head hit the coarse stone and he let out a small sigh. There was a long moment where he didn't say a single word: he just didn't know what to say. It seemed...
"It seems like the problem just gets more and more complicated the longer we look at it," he said, and there was a tone of hopelessness in his voice. "Maybe I wouldn't care so much if it was a problem only I was struggling with, but... Zelia deserves better than all this." He gestured at nothing in particular.
"In a way, I wish she hadn't come with," Gareth admitted. "At least at home, she'd be safe. But I know she doesn't want that."
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"I understand what you mean, though." She adds after a moment, this was not a safe place for Zelly, not a healthy place to be. All of them were in danger and it was the ugly, unflinching kind of danger. "But, I think this may be some of what she wanted." After a pause she deflates a little, shoulders slumping. "Adventure, a life outside of the castle. She is safer with you here, and while it is dangerous, at least we are with her rather than her going out on her own."
At least, that's how Winter had reasoned it with herself thus far.
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He listened, and he nodded, and he leaned back a little more heavily against the wall. "You're right," he sighed, and smiled forlornly at the pretty blue Tiefling. "As usual. If it wasn't with us, I'm sure she'd have found some way to get out and into trouble otherwise. And at least we care about her--we'll do our best to protect her. The others as well." It was touching to him how the party had adopted Zelly to be their metaphorical child. Even the rougher members of the party had come to cherish her.
Would Gareth have let her anywhere near two Orcs only a year ago? Not very likely.
"I just hope she doesn't get hurt," he said at last. "I'm not sure I could forgive myself."
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"I guess that means we all have to do our best." She murmured gently, her gaze sliding down a little as she thought things through. "Though, I'm sure we already are." A little puff of a laugh at herself. "I don't really know what else to say, Gareth." She turned a gentle smile on him. "I just hope at the end we're all where we want to be."
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"It is," he agreed. "And I certainly would." He didn't have to wonder if Winter would lay down her life for Zelly: he knew it already and would have known it even if Winter had never even mentioned it. In fact, their most recent--and first--argument had been about that very fact, in a way. Gareth still wasn't happy about it but he had decided to hope it would never become relevant.
"I hope that too," he said softly. "Maybe that's all that really needs to be said." He hesitantly, gently set a hand on her shoulder, turning his head so he could look her in her eye.
"And... I'm glad you're here, Winter. Wherever we end up, I hope I'll end up near you."
What else could he say, when she smiled at him like that?
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"But," she paused, letting the moment hang briefly before she nodded firmly. "I hope the same, I really do."
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"Good," he said, and it was just about all he could muster. Again his eyes were getting misty.
After a moment, and one last squeeze, he took the hand away from Winter's shoulder. Inside his clasped hand he could still feel the cool of her skin, the smoothness of her icy scales.
"I suppose we'd better get some rest before we have to move on," he said reluctantly. "Shall we head back?"
He didn't want to--but he knew they had to. Whatever was coming next, it was big.
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A softer, thoughtful smile focused on him before she allowed herself to give him a light thump on the chest. "Perhaps the Orcs will be sleeping deeply enough by now that their snores will not wake the dead, and all of us." A small titter of a laugh before she took the lead, her steps intentionally light, quietly leading the pair of them back toward the sleeping area. She didn't want to wake anyone, Zelly least of all. IT had been a long day and they all deserved their rest.